well guys, i got a job! its super exciting news, right?! i started on monday and have officially completed 3 days. i'm working at my old school so its a comfortable place with many new faces- making my first full-time job comforting and still new & exciting. i'm quickly realizing that no day will be the same which is fantastic news...i'm thankful to have a job and to be making money. while i thoroughly enjoyed my unemployed time, it is nice to have more structure to my day...knowing each day has purpose. i'm sure part of the appeal may rub off over time but i hope to hold on to it as long as possible. today i got silly bands and silly-band rings so that's how cool my job is ;)
in other news, we have another cross country meet tomorrow. i have really enjoyed getting to know the kids on the team and getting the chance to run with them. i think they're all ready for the meet and expect them to do very well! hope i can say the right things to support/encourage them! things at chatt ballet are going well too! fall classes started at the end of august and everything is back in full swing. i'm happy to see that i'm getting back into not only running shape but also ballet shape. i'm balancing much better and its starting to feel like the old days. i really do love ballet and am very thankful to be doing it again. got some performances coming up (3 to be exact- one in each of the remaining months). things are going to be busy this fall- but isn't the fall always busy? yeah, thats what i thought... i've also been babysitting for a family on signal mountain. its 3 boys under the age of 4. one 3.5 yr old, a 2 yr old and a 6 week-old baby. they are quite possibly the cutest 3 boys. i love their ages and how they're each in very different stages in their lives. it has been a bit of a handful at times but totally worth every cute moment (and the $ of course). i'm glad i'm not a mom right now- but its kinda fun to play mom for a few hours every so often. seriously though- they're precious!
tonight i went to my second small group meeting at the new church i've been going to. each wednesday small groups meet at the church and instead of doing a lesson, the pastor answers any questions on the sermon from the past sunday...people can text their questions during the sermon and the top 3-5 questions are answered in the "deeper" series on wednesday nights. the sermon this past sunday was great...all summer he has been preaching out of james. there is so much to discuss in james that its taken him longer than he had planned...and this church preaches line by line in scripture which is great for me. anyways, this sunday was about slander- specifically james 4: 11-12. it was one of those days where you realize you think you've been trying to change bad habits but have gotten no where...that your frame of mind and attitude really haven't changed at all, you've just pushed your thoughts to the back burner. anyways, it was a great reminder of the Lord's love for me and how His grace continues to cover my mistakes, my short comings...my sin. the pastor spoke about our hearts and our minds and the way we judge others, including our brothers and sisters in Christ. james is very blunt about slander and judgment...which is hard to read but still good to hear. i pray i'm reminded hourly of these verses and that i'm reminded of the Lord's love...for me and for everyone. this spring i learned a lot about the Lord's love...and in the past 4 months He has really shown me His love for me. i'm incredibly thankful but i'm realizing how hard it is for me to receive it. after tonight's small group i began to think about why it is that i have a hard time receiving His love but also how that is affecting my love on others. i think the more i try to ignore the Lord's love for me the harder it is for me to remember how much He loves others and that i'm being used to show love to others. so, here is to me trying to accept the Lord's free love- no matter how much i don't think i deserve it. here is to me focusing on the Lord's free love more every minute of the day. and here is to me relying on that love to get me through every situation, every conversation, every victory, every loss in the most Christ like way.
Let love rule.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Tuesday, July 6, 2010
time flies when you're unemployed
well. i've been out of college for 2 months now and i guess unemployed for a little over a month. the word "unemployed" sounds so awful and negative, but thankfully i have been enjoying it! since i've moved back to the great city of chattanooga, i've kept myself busy.
once i got into town, i signed up for dance classes and now dance 3 times a week. it is probably one of the best decisions i've made thus far... even though its just a 1.5-2 hr class 3 days a week, it has given me something to look forward to when i have had nothing to do. it's also really nice because after i graduated high school, chattanooga ballet moved to a new building with new studios. it works great for me because i still know people but its also still new to me. i do feel a bit old though, seeing as how some of the girls in my class are just now getting their driver's licenses. weird.
in addition to dancing, i also have a "summer internship" where i volunteer 2 days a week at a local non-profit organization. the organization- AVA- is really cool and i'm so happy that they need help! i actually volunteered there my senior year of high school and the organization has grown a lot since then which is neat to see. i'm helping with marketing and with their advertisement... i'm learning a lot and have met cool people too!
besides watching tv (way too much), i've gotten to hang out with people from high school. its cool that we pick up from where we left off and i love that we all have similar things we like to do- like run or craft- its a great reason to get together! i've started watching LOST too...i like it more than i thought i would...
i have also been enjoying time with my mom and dad. they are both keeping me busy with different things but its cool having time to help them or go out of town with them! my dad and i went rafting down the ocoee with my aunt, uncle and cousin on friday... i love rafting, family and the cherokee national forest. in conclusion, it was a great day!
so...this is my life in chattanooga right now. i'm still applying for jobs and hoping (more like needing) to find a job and income soon but i'm thankful that God takes care of me regardless.
once i got into town, i signed up for dance classes and now dance 3 times a week. it is probably one of the best decisions i've made thus far... even though its just a 1.5-2 hr class 3 days a week, it has given me something to look forward to when i have had nothing to do. it's also really nice because after i graduated high school, chattanooga ballet moved to a new building with new studios. it works great for me because i still know people but its also still new to me. i do feel a bit old though, seeing as how some of the girls in my class are just now getting their driver's licenses. weird.
in addition to dancing, i also have a "summer internship" where i volunteer 2 days a week at a local non-profit organization. the organization- AVA- is really cool and i'm so happy that they need help! i actually volunteered there my senior year of high school and the organization has grown a lot since then which is neat to see. i'm helping with marketing and with their advertisement... i'm learning a lot and have met cool people too!
besides watching tv (way too much), i've gotten to hang out with people from high school. its cool that we pick up from where we left off and i love that we all have similar things we like to do- like run or craft- its a great reason to get together! i've started watching LOST too...i like it more than i thought i would...
i have also been enjoying time with my mom and dad. they are both keeping me busy with different things but its cool having time to help them or go out of town with them! my dad and i went rafting down the ocoee with my aunt, uncle and cousin on friday... i love rafting, family and the cherokee national forest. in conclusion, it was a great day!
so...this is my life in chattanooga right now. i'm still applying for jobs and hoping (more like needing) to find a job and income soon but i'm thankful that God takes care of me regardless.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
enjoy. breath. smile.
well. here it is. the end of may. something i've only been talking and thinking about for the past 5 months. i'm not sure where time went but i guess it doesn't matter because its gone and i'm here.
this month i graduated from the university of georgia. woo hoo! its exciting yet sad all in one. i had both a business school graduation and a school wide graduation- and of course i went to both. and i didn't cry at either one- i mean i got teary-eyed but i held it together. and while the terry college of business ceremony was great- i had the dread of finals hanging over my head the whole time. but, may 8th, after everything was finished, was a glorious day! i can almost say after may 8th, all of my fear and sadness about leaving uga was gone... almost. when something ends so perfectly (and yes, i use perfect because the day could not have been any better) i know its the right time to move on. while i'm still learning all about the Lord and His love, it was evident to me on the 8th. He knows what would make my day perfect and what would make my transition easier and He made it happen. i know, without a doubt, i was meant to be in athens for 4 years. not 4.5, not 3.5 but 4. while the chapter may be ending, and its very sad, its the most comforting thing to know its perfect timing. while i'm still adjusting to being an alum, i know i'll always be connected to uga which is more than i could ask for.
which brings me to the next chapter of my life. who know where i'll be in 3 weeks/months/years or what i'll be doing. i won't lie, its been a rollercoaster this month. what to do? where to go? who to be with? while most of my questions remain unanswered, i'm trying to hold on to the fact that the Lord is consistent. He is steady. He is in control. even though i would like to be master planner and have things "under control" in my life, this is apparently not His agenda. recently i felt like i had some kind of control on my life, just to realize that i had lost myself in the mess. i'm not even sure i'm making sense, but i can't really hide it, because right now there isn't much that does make sense. and this is good, even when there is a large part of me that hates it. and while this may seem like complaining, i am here to say its not. its merely just a reminder for me (and maybe you) to relax in the truths about the Lord. while i'm hating this season now, i know its only good for me and only good will come from it. and thankfully, i'll get a job somewhere and somehow decide where to live. He is making a path for me, even when i can't see it.
i pack up and move out in 3 days. its going to be hard and there will be plenty of tears, but knowing everything has been perfect up until now i have faith knowing there is more to come in my lifetime. when i think about my life at uga (i'm visual) i see all of my bumps in the road and all of my great adventures. at the end of the day, i wouldn't change a thing. which shows me, once again, to go with the flow of this season and enjoy. so, here's to enjoying life, even when its incredibly frustrating.
this month i graduated from the university of georgia. woo hoo! its exciting yet sad all in one. i had both a business school graduation and a school wide graduation- and of course i went to both. and i didn't cry at either one- i mean i got teary-eyed but i held it together. and while the terry college of business ceremony was great- i had the dread of finals hanging over my head the whole time. but, may 8th, after everything was finished, was a glorious day! i can almost say after may 8th, all of my fear and sadness about leaving uga was gone... almost. when something ends so perfectly (and yes, i use perfect because the day could not have been any better) i know its the right time to move on. while i'm still learning all about the Lord and His love, it was evident to me on the 8th. He knows what would make my day perfect and what would make my transition easier and He made it happen. i know, without a doubt, i was meant to be in athens for 4 years. not 4.5, not 3.5 but 4. while the chapter may be ending, and its very sad, its the most comforting thing to know its perfect timing. while i'm still adjusting to being an alum, i know i'll always be connected to uga which is more than i could ask for.
which brings me to the next chapter of my life. who know where i'll be in 3 weeks/months/years or what i'll be doing. i won't lie, its been a rollercoaster this month. what to do? where to go? who to be with? while most of my questions remain unanswered, i'm trying to hold on to the fact that the Lord is consistent. He is steady. He is in control. even though i would like to be master planner and have things "under control" in my life, this is apparently not His agenda. recently i felt like i had some kind of control on my life, just to realize that i had lost myself in the mess. i'm not even sure i'm making sense, but i can't really hide it, because right now there isn't much that does make sense. and this is good, even when there is a large part of me that hates it. and while this may seem like complaining, i am here to say its not. its merely just a reminder for me (and maybe you) to relax in the truths about the Lord. while i'm hating this season now, i know its only good for me and only good will come from it. and thankfully, i'll get a job somewhere and somehow decide where to live. He is making a path for me, even when i can't see it.
i pack up and move out in 3 days. its going to be hard and there will be plenty of tears, but knowing everything has been perfect up until now i have faith knowing there is more to come in my lifetime. when i think about my life at uga (i'm visual) i see all of my bumps in the road and all of my great adventures. at the end of the day, i wouldn't change a thing. which shows me, once again, to go with the flow of this season and enjoy. so, here's to enjoying life, even when its incredibly frustrating.
Monday, May 17, 2010
Gold
as i still process everything that has happened the past 2 weeks, i'd like to share something with you. if you have not taken the colors test- i highly suggest it. i've had to take it for numerous things but the people at wesley love to talk about colors and what it means. naturally, i now love to talk about it too. each time i have taken the test i have been Gold. one of my roommates gave me a little piece of [gold] paper that has the description on it...if i could give a piece of paper to someone as soon as i met them, i'd hand them this exact paper. as things are changing around me, i'm reminded daily that i'm still the same- that the things i like and love are okay, because its how God crafted me to be. that being said, here is the little piece of paper that can almost sum me up...
thanks true-colors. com for reading me so well.
i pray that i hold on to who i am- gold or not- and continue to trust in God to place me exactly where i need to be in the upcoming months.
"I follow the rules and respect authority.
Loyal- Dependable-Prepared
I have a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong.
Thorough- Sensible- Punctual
I need to be useful and to belong.
Faithful- Stable- Organized
I value home and family.
Caring- Concerned- Concrete
I am a natural preserver, a good citizen and helpful."
"At work or in school: I like set routines & organized ways of doing things, rules and directions. I like to know what is expected of me & know if I'm on the right track. I like subjects that are useful and traditional- like Business."
"With friends: I like my friends to be loyal, dependable and on time. I am serious about love and show it in practical ways"
"With family: I like stability and security and enjoy traditions and frequent celebrations. I like to spend holidays with family members and plan ahead for such gatherings."
Loyal- Dependable-Prepared
I have a strong sense of what is right and what is wrong.
Thorough- Sensible- Punctual
I need to be useful and to belong.
Faithful- Stable- Organized
I value home and family.
Caring- Concerned- Concrete
I am a natural preserver, a good citizen and helpful."
"At work or in school: I like set routines & organized ways of doing things, rules and directions. I like to know what is expected of me & know if I'm on the right track. I like subjects that are useful and traditional- like Business."
"With friends: I like my friends to be loyal, dependable and on time. I am serious about love and show it in practical ways"
"With family: I like stability and security and enjoy traditions and frequent celebrations. I like to spend holidays with family members and plan ahead for such gatherings."
thanks true-colors. com for reading me so well.
i pray that i hold on to who i am- gold or not- and continue to trust in God to place me exactly where i need to be in the upcoming months.
Thursday, May 6, 2010
house of cards
okay, i'm supposed to be working on a paper so i plan for this to be short... we'll see.
as i sit here, working on my last paper as an undergraduate, my music is playing. personally, i find radiohead to be wonderful studying music. after the song reckoner, house of cards follows. i got this cd back in january of 2008 (thanks david) and one of the first times i studied to it was in jittery joe's at 5 points. i remember that day/night like it was yesterday and when house of cards just started playing, i felt like i was back there again. i thought something along the lines of "oh, yeah that wasn't too long ago." not only did this memory happen over 2 years ago, but my life was completely different back then. while at jittery joes, with marie, i was studying accounting. it was my first full semester as a pre-business major & i was being a good student studying on a saturday night. it was also my first time studying at the jittery joes. i was also only a sophomore in college. i had 2 full years of school ahead of me. as i listen to the song/cd now, i realize (again) that its the end. i think at this point, its not so much sad as it is weird. my roommate was packing up her room today. what?! her room won't be there the next month while i'm here hanging out and working?!? its just weird. its also weird when i have run into people this week, because i don't know when i'll see them again. its the strangest and saddest part about saying goodbye to people. i love meeting new people and i know they aren't gone forever, but when is the next time?
i gotta get back to this paper and try to not get lost in the reality or the future. idk where that leaves me...
as i sit here, working on my last paper as an undergraduate, my music is playing. personally, i find radiohead to be wonderful studying music. after the song reckoner, house of cards follows. i got this cd back in january of 2008 (thanks david) and one of the first times i studied to it was in jittery joe's at 5 points. i remember that day/night like it was yesterday and when house of cards just started playing, i felt like i was back there again. i thought something along the lines of "oh, yeah that wasn't too long ago." not only did this memory happen over 2 years ago, but my life was completely different back then. while at jittery joes, with marie, i was studying accounting. it was my first full semester as a pre-business major & i was being a good student studying on a saturday night. it was also my first time studying at the jittery joes. i was also only a sophomore in college. i had 2 full years of school ahead of me. as i listen to the song/cd now, i realize (again) that its the end. i think at this point, its not so much sad as it is weird. my roommate was packing up her room today. what?! her room won't be there the next month while i'm here hanging out and working?!? its just weird. its also weird when i have run into people this week, because i don't know when i'll see them again. its the strangest and saddest part about saying goodbye to people. i love meeting new people and i know they aren't gone forever, but when is the next time?
i gotta get back to this paper and try to not get lost in the reality or the future. idk where that leaves me...
Friday, April 30, 2010
growing up.
i have an interview tomorrow. thankfully i'm not nervous about it, but as i get ready for the drive tomorrow (for the interview) i realize what i have done to prepare for it... my hoop nose ring is gone, my coral-colored nail polish is off as well. all my belongings are now in a black "business" purse and my heels are ready to be worn. don't get me wrong, i like wearing business clothes but i can't help but wonder: what am i sacrificing now for an uncertain future? i guess what i'm saying is that i love being unique, i love having quirks and differences. i love that other people are different too...but preparing for this interview, i had to put all of that aside and look how the world thinks i should look. as things around me are changing quicker than i can even process, where have i put myself? i walked in one of my favorite vintage stores today and found killer vintage sunglasses. i thought they looked great on me- and they were on sale. but i didn't buy them. to be honest, i didn't know what the world would think of them. i'm embarrassed to admit that i let the world dictate my actions like that...but its what happened. this is one more phase of growing up that i'll have to adjust to. what does it look like to be unique and quirky in the business world? i almost want to ask if its okay to be quirky in the business world, but i know it is okay. what will it look like for me though? will i get a job where i can mix vintage pieces with my modern suit? will i work in an environment that allows me to be comfortable in my oxymoron state? i want that and more than that, i want to stay in the now and not begin conforming to the world because i think its the responsible thing to do... 3 months ago i would have bought those great sunglasses, but why not now? maybe i should title this self-reflection time...but i can't help but blame it on growing up.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
reflections
since i only have one week of classes left, i have been reflecting on every semester throughout the last 4 years. naturally, i thought i could share my reflections with y'all...
my time at uga started in a late weekend in july at dawg camp. a camp for incoming freshman, it was a weekend to get to know some people before classes start. i loved dawg camp and am so glad i went back in 2006. not only did i have fun but i also met katie, my roommate now. for our friendship alone, i am glad i went! we were in red group #3, i'm pretty sure. i loved the games and competitions that we did throughout the weekend. although i'm pretty sure the black group won at the end of the weekend...
it was august 13th 2006 when i moved into creswell hall. david helped me pack up his dad's suburban and my dad squeezed in the back seat. moving my stuff in was stressful but the three of us got it done. i met my roommate samantha that day too! we had varsity for lunch and before i knew it, i was left alone in my dorm room. room 363 on hall 3D. i loved my room and quickly loved the girls on my hall. that same night katie picked me up and some dawg camp people went to starbucks and hung out on north campus. those were the days when i hated coffee and got a hot chocolate instead. i remember it being a hot august day and practically sweating & drinking hot chocolate, haha!
one of my all time favorite weekends in the fall was october 6 & 7. october 6 was a friday, i remember i had a pre-cal exam and did well on it. and the student alumni association had an event at the bookstore that i went to... i got my picture with hairy dawg and got vince dooley's autograph. it doesn't seem like such a big deal now, but at the time i was excited! that night melissa came into town and so did david. the next day, the 7th, was the georgia/tennessee game so my parents and aunt misti came into town on saturday. i think it was perfect timing to have family come to see me. if you don't remember, georgia lost to tennessee and it was a painful game to watch but nonetheless, it was a great weekend. i remember being proud to be on my own and proud to show off my dorm room, haha. pretty funny to think about now...
oh, freshman year. when everything was new and things were just beginning. i'm thankful to still have good friends from freshman year and have been there with me through it all.
my time at uga started in a late weekend in july at dawg camp. a camp for incoming freshman, it was a weekend to get to know some people before classes start. i loved dawg camp and am so glad i went back in 2006. not only did i have fun but i also met katie, my roommate now. for our friendship alone, i am glad i went! we were in red group #3, i'm pretty sure. i loved the games and competitions that we did throughout the weekend. although i'm pretty sure the black group won at the end of the weekend...
it was august 13th 2006 when i moved into creswell hall. david helped me pack up his dad's suburban and my dad squeezed in the back seat. moving my stuff in was stressful but the three of us got it done. i met my roommate samantha that day too! we had varsity for lunch and before i knew it, i was left alone in my dorm room. room 363 on hall 3D. i loved my room and quickly loved the girls on my hall. that same night katie picked me up and some dawg camp people went to starbucks and hung out on north campus. those were the days when i hated coffee and got a hot chocolate instead. i remember it being a hot august day and practically sweating & drinking hot chocolate, haha!
one of my all time favorite weekends in the fall was october 6 & 7. october 6 was a friday, i remember i had a pre-cal exam and did well on it. and the student alumni association had an event at the bookstore that i went to... i got my picture with hairy dawg and got vince dooley's autograph. it doesn't seem like such a big deal now, but at the time i was excited! that night melissa came into town and so did david. the next day, the 7th, was the georgia/tennessee game so my parents and aunt misti came into town on saturday. i think it was perfect timing to have family come to see me. if you don't remember, georgia lost to tennessee and it was a painful game to watch but nonetheless, it was a great weekend. i remember being proud to be on my own and proud to show off my dorm room, haha. pretty funny to think about now...
oh, freshman year. when everything was new and things were just beginning. i'm thankful to still have good friends from freshman year and have been there with me through it all.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
choice
so, its tuesday. this tuesday has just been "one of those days." i hate to say it, but its true. i had a lot due today, and didn't feel prepared for much...i have lots on my mind and its been threatening rain all day. as i'm typing, it doesn't seem like much but its just "one of those days." and the worst part about these kind of days, for me, is the reality that its a choice to let these days get me down. i know that its a choice. i know that i can change my mind set...but these days make it that much harder. its these days that tempt me to avoid praying and asking God to help me. i don't want to ask Him for help... i should be able to handle it on my own, right? (wrong.) obviously this is far from true but its what i tend to think. so this adds to the theme of the day and it cycles through. i need to get out of this cycle, even if it is awful weather or rude customers walk into the office. the Lord is consistent. He doesn't change. He is the same today with rain, that He'll be tomorrow with sunshine. add it to the list of things i don't understand about the Lord...and to the list of truths I need to hold onto daily. He doesn't give us more than we can handle but it seems He likes to push us to the edge. probably so we'll re-focus on Him, which is where i tend to fail. so, as i type this blog and try to forget about the worries of this day and the days to come, i am trying to re-focus my attention, heart, mind and thoughts on the Lord. He is good. He loves me, regardless of today. He has purpose for me. He can help me.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
i love...part 2
things i love:
-i love dressing in business clothes. it makes me excited about my future job and happy to be a management major...you may need to remind me of this when i complain about my classes in the next 2 weeks...
-i love banquets. i loved the sports banquet in high school, i always loved going to luncheons with my mom growing up and i still love them now. i look forward to banquets for my friends, husband and kids. yes, its true.
-i love that in the south, the only beverage on the table at banquets and luncheons is tea. thats all to be said.
-i still love hearing "The University of Georgia" and i still love hearing people talk about it and calling it "a great institution"
-i love my on-campus job. this year i've had the opportunity to meet lots of people in my office and department and its been a lot of fun. add it to the list of things i'm sad to leave.
-i love that my family is planning this wedding around sports. this week my mom asked me to look up more sporting events to make sure they didn't interfere... thankfully melissa and alex have picked the only off-week in UT's schedule and its after the ryder cup and before the world series. the guests should be happy...did i mention that UGA has a football game on this date? yeah, looks like the MOH will be sacrificing...it'll be worth it though.
-i love that i'll always be learning about sports. its one of the few things i'm excited to learn more about everyday.
-i love the way my room is set up...and i even love my crazy way of organizing in it. i can only hope that my husband will love the method to my madness too. a girl can hope, right?
-i love old things. there are few things that i'd prefer buying new (one being shoes, for example). i love old furniture, i love older cars, i love older clothing styles, i love older homes and i usually love most old, simple jewelry. i don't know if this is was more nature than nurture (sometimes i wonder that about myself) but either way, i love older things.
thats enough for today. right now i love my bed and i love that tomorrow is friday. what i don't love is that our language only has one word for "love"...naturally that makes me want to use it less, but i can't help it. oh well.
-i love dressing in business clothes. it makes me excited about my future job and happy to be a management major...you may need to remind me of this when i complain about my classes in the next 2 weeks...
-i love banquets. i loved the sports banquet in high school, i always loved going to luncheons with my mom growing up and i still love them now. i look forward to banquets for my friends, husband and kids. yes, its true.
-i love that in the south, the only beverage on the table at banquets and luncheons is tea. thats all to be said.
-i still love hearing "The University of Georgia" and i still love hearing people talk about it and calling it "a great institution"
-i love my on-campus job. this year i've had the opportunity to meet lots of people in my office and department and its been a lot of fun. add it to the list of things i'm sad to leave.
-i love that my family is planning this wedding around sports. this week my mom asked me to look up more sporting events to make sure they didn't interfere... thankfully melissa and alex have picked the only off-week in UT's schedule and its after the ryder cup and before the world series. the guests should be happy...did i mention that UGA has a football game on this date? yeah, looks like the MOH will be sacrificing...it'll be worth it though.
-i love that i'll always be learning about sports. its one of the few things i'm excited to learn more about everyday.
-i love the way my room is set up...and i even love my crazy way of organizing in it. i can only hope that my husband will love the method to my madness too. a girl can hope, right?
-i love old things. there are few things that i'd prefer buying new (one being shoes, for example). i love old furniture, i love older cars, i love older clothing styles, i love older homes and i usually love most old, simple jewelry. i don't know if this is was more nature than nurture (sometimes i wonder that about myself) but either way, i love older things.
thats enough for today. right now i love my bed and i love that tomorrow is friday. what i don't love is that our language only has one word for "love"...naturally that makes me want to use it less, but i can't help it. oh well.
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
validation
as mentioned in my last post, i had breakfast with my friend paige on sunday. while talking to her, i mentioned how one of my best friends from chattanooga, ashley, surprised me for my performance on friday. it was great to see her and sweet of her to surprise me! anyways, i was telling her how nice it is to talk with people from chattanooga and from my high school because they completely understand my thinking. obviously my friends in athens listen and try to understand but its not quite the same. either way, i realized that this sense of comfort comes from a feeling of being validated. when i talk to people with similar interests and ideas of mine, it makes me more confident and peaceful about my thoughts and decisions. i met with one of my professors today and left her office feeling the same way. i am on the right track for my paper in that class and my resume that i'm sending out to employers. then i got to thinking about calculus. oh calculus. i waited till my last semester to take this required class and it hasn't been easy. this math class is time consuming but i'm also working really hard so that i can do well. (math is my subject, i should get a good grade) sometimes when i go to office hours, my teacher isn't the most friendly which makes me even harder on myself and makes me question the amount of effort i'm putting into the class. today it hit me. i'm trying in this class. yes, sometimes i forgot to complete a worksheet or i give up on one homework problem...but i'm still trying. so regardless of whether my teacher is validating my work, i need to be able to look at myself and know i've tried my hardest. and i have and will continue to until my final on may 7. everyone will look different in that class, as far as grades go, but i don't want to care about what i think my teacher thinks about me. she may be disappointed in me or think i don't make this class a priority, but i do. this is all that matters. and even more than this, i need to walk in the fact that the Lord validates me. He not only recognizes my worth but He knows it more than i do. so, today i'm asking Him to help me realize this in my life...i'm thinking this may help me not be so hard on myself. i have worth, i try hard and while i'm not perfect, i'm validated.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
epic weekend.
so, i have re-vamped my blog. i like it right now. hope you do too.
this friday, april 9th, the wesley foundation put on our annual spring dance concert, restoration. it is intended to be a night of worship and dance and friday, it truly was this. all last week we were rehearsing and getting ready for the performance and all of our hard work paid off. besides the fact that my roommate, wonderful sarah, seriously injured her knee, the show was incredible. she doesn't know this, but her injury freaked me out but it really released my nerves on stage and let me just dance. there she was getting rolled away in a wheelchair to the hospital, not able to dance the rest of the night...so i wanted to dance enough for the both of us. it was great. i obviously hate that she got hurt though and am praying for a quick quick recovery. my family came down for the performance and pretty much all my closest friends were there too. i felt like one lucky girl to have such a strong support system. its weird that dance is over for the semester, and probably for awhile, but it was worth every painful moment, every tear and everyone friendship made.
saturday morning, i got to spend time with the family and talk more about the wedding. now i have time, besides school, to help my sissy out...funny story, i used to call her sissy and one day she told me not to. at the time i was sad, now it makes sense haha. anyways, after the fam left we went to the G-Day game, which is our spring football scrimmage game. i won't lie, it was hard to concentrate on everything but i loved seeing the red and black in the stadium again. after the game, me and emily hung out with sarah and gave her company since she was stuck in bed. she's been a real trooper throughout the whole thing and that knee hasn't gotten her humor. after hanging with her, my girl brittany and i went to the David Gray concert in atlanta. brittany is my concert buddy and i love going with her. i was given david gray's music back in high school and freshman year of college but i didn't get hooked until sophomore year. the song "Shine" from his first album got me through my spring semester of sophomore year...i was addicted to it. well, he played it on saturday and i could have cried it was so good. its pretty rare that artists play their first song from their first album (ok, well john mayer did it in march too, but its still pretty rare). after my recent research, the album with the song "Shine" came out in 1993 and it was released as a single. kinda weird that i love a song now that came out when i was 5... anyways, the show was fantastic. it was a smaller venue and there were older people there so it was a different crowd. he is just an incredible musician, songwriter and singer and i'm really glad we went.
sunday i had breakfast with my new friend paige and it was nice to talk with her. she leaves for haiti today which is exciting and nice of her to make time for me before her departure. church was good and so was sunday afternoon. i wasn't too productive all day but i had relaxing times with the roommates and had dinner at the grill with sarah's mom- yummy.
this weekend was fun because i danced, obviously, but i also got great quality time with friends. i pray for more of that the next 3 weeks because its what i am craving. oh, and i also need to get homework done. haha oh, how senioritis bug has gotten me.
this friday, april 9th, the wesley foundation put on our annual spring dance concert, restoration. it is intended to be a night of worship and dance and friday, it truly was this. all last week we were rehearsing and getting ready for the performance and all of our hard work paid off. besides the fact that my roommate, wonderful sarah, seriously injured her knee, the show was incredible. she doesn't know this, but her injury freaked me out but it really released my nerves on stage and let me just dance. there she was getting rolled away in a wheelchair to the hospital, not able to dance the rest of the night...so i wanted to dance enough for the both of us. it was great. i obviously hate that she got hurt though and am praying for a quick quick recovery. my family came down for the performance and pretty much all my closest friends were there too. i felt like one lucky girl to have such a strong support system. its weird that dance is over for the semester, and probably for awhile, but it was worth every painful moment, every tear and everyone friendship made.
saturday morning, i got to spend time with the family and talk more about the wedding. now i have time, besides school, to help my sissy out...funny story, i used to call her sissy and one day she told me not to. at the time i was sad, now it makes sense haha. anyways, after the fam left we went to the G-Day game, which is our spring football scrimmage game. i won't lie, it was hard to concentrate on everything but i loved seeing the red and black in the stadium again. after the game, me and emily hung out with sarah and gave her company since she was stuck in bed. she's been a real trooper throughout the whole thing and that knee hasn't gotten her humor. after hanging with her, my girl brittany and i went to the David Gray concert in atlanta. brittany is my concert buddy and i love going with her. i was given david gray's music back in high school and freshman year of college but i didn't get hooked until sophomore year. the song "Shine" from his first album got me through my spring semester of sophomore year...i was addicted to it. well, he played it on saturday and i could have cried it was so good. its pretty rare that artists play their first song from their first album (ok, well john mayer did it in march too, but its still pretty rare). after my recent research, the album with the song "Shine" came out in 1993 and it was released as a single. kinda weird that i love a song now that came out when i was 5... anyways, the show was fantastic. it was a smaller venue and there were older people there so it was a different crowd. he is just an incredible musician, songwriter and singer and i'm really glad we went.
sunday i had breakfast with my new friend paige and it was nice to talk with her. she leaves for haiti today which is exciting and nice of her to make time for me before her departure. church was good and so was sunday afternoon. i wasn't too productive all day but i had relaxing times with the roommates and had dinner at the grill with sarah's mom- yummy.
this weekend was fun because i danced, obviously, but i also got great quality time with friends. i pray for more of that the next 3 weeks because its what i am craving. oh, and i also need to get homework done. haha oh, how senioritis bug has gotten me.
how could you say no to this?
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
....
okay, so i'm currently at work and trying to get things done but i just can't. i'm going to try to blog-it-out but i only have 10 minutes, so we'll see...
the big dance performance that i'm in is this friday...while rehearsal went well on monday, i have become more and more stressed throughout the week. not only am i worried about it but i have loads of other stuff to do this week. somehow all my school work has piled up this week and its crunch time. add in the fact that i want to be looking for jobs and planning my sister's wedding and you should begin to understand my feelings right now...oh, and did i mention that i keep receiving emails about the fact that i'm graduating and only have 3 weeks left as a UGA student? what?!! how can this be? either way, this is truth and i need the Lord to show me how to handle it all, because He knows how i don't handle stress well.
speaking of the Lord... i'm reading Crazy Love again with the two girls i disciple... its a great book but while reading chapter 4 today, i couldn't help but reflect on my life up to today. the whole chapter is about Lukewarm Christians and what their lives look like...of course i have those tendencies which make me frustrated... but this whole semester i've been learning about the Lord's love. He loves me because He loves me because He loves me... i've realized this semester that i tend to get caught up in the things that i think i "should" and "should not" do...but after reading this chapter, i see there are things i should be doing and many things i should not be doing. as Christians, we're called to be In this world but not be Of this world. this is something i have really thought about more and more as i get older, knowing that i'll really be in the world once i enter the job market. what it boils down to, is that fact that we should desire to be like Jesus...we should desire to do what He asks of us... and at the end of the day we can strive for that desire or we can rely on the Lord to give us this desire. its all interconnected and doesn't always make sense but the Lord is constant and this is the truth i need to hold on to. in a life and world of change, the Lord is there and never changes. this fact is true comfort for me. this week, not only do i need to be asking the Lord for big things on April 9, but i need Him to help me see the important things in life and where my time should be spent. i know growing closer to the Lord and glorifying Him in all that i do is a good start, but i need His grace to help me while i grow in my walk with Him.
ahh... this is only the surface of my mind. so many questions and thoughts. happy wednesday, y'all!
the big dance performance that i'm in is this friday...while rehearsal went well on monday, i have become more and more stressed throughout the week. not only am i worried about it but i have loads of other stuff to do this week. somehow all my school work has piled up this week and its crunch time. add in the fact that i want to be looking for jobs and planning my sister's wedding and you should begin to understand my feelings right now...oh, and did i mention that i keep receiving emails about the fact that i'm graduating and only have 3 weeks left as a UGA student? what?!! how can this be? either way, this is truth and i need the Lord to show me how to handle it all, because He knows how i don't handle stress well.
speaking of the Lord... i'm reading Crazy Love again with the two girls i disciple... its a great book but while reading chapter 4 today, i couldn't help but reflect on my life up to today. the whole chapter is about Lukewarm Christians and what their lives look like...of course i have those tendencies which make me frustrated... but this whole semester i've been learning about the Lord's love. He loves me because He loves me because He loves me... i've realized this semester that i tend to get caught up in the things that i think i "should" and "should not" do...but after reading this chapter, i see there are things i should be doing and many things i should not be doing. as Christians, we're called to be In this world but not be Of this world. this is something i have really thought about more and more as i get older, knowing that i'll really be in the world once i enter the job market. what it boils down to, is that fact that we should desire to be like Jesus...we should desire to do what He asks of us... and at the end of the day we can strive for that desire or we can rely on the Lord to give us this desire. its all interconnected and doesn't always make sense but the Lord is constant and this is the truth i need to hold on to. in a life and world of change, the Lord is there and never changes. this fact is true comfort for me. this week, not only do i need to be asking the Lord for big things on April 9, but i need Him to help me see the important things in life and where my time should be spent. i know growing closer to the Lord and glorifying Him in all that i do is a good start, but i need His grace to help me while i grow in my walk with Him.
ahh... this is only the surface of my mind. so many questions and thoughts. happy wednesday, y'all!
Monday, April 5, 2010
celebration
this past weekend, i went home for the first time in about 6 weeks. as you know, i've been thinking about moving back to chatt...thankfully after this weekend it is clear as day that its what i am supposed to do and where i'm supposed to be! here are my reasons why...
my sister and her boyfriend are ENGAGED! woo hoo! i am so unbelievably excited for the two of them and their future together! my sister already asked me to be the maid of honor, so we were quick to start the planning. they want the wedding to be in the fall, so we gotta get to work. while i'm dreading graduating, i now have something beyond exciting to look forward to and help plan! the timing of the whole thing has worked out perfectly and it makes me certain that the Lord brought it all together. He knew that this would be the perfect thing for me and my transition back home and He knows that I love planning and am super excited to help my sister. He also knows the timing of my sister and her fiancé's lives...it was the perfect weekend to get everything in motion! to top it all off, i realized that this will be the first event for both sides of my family to get together. as i get older, my family means more and more to me...so how could i not be excited about my sister marrying an incredible guy AND celebrating it with all of our families... its the perfect reason to celebrate with those loved ones close to us! plus this has made me appreciate the meaning of a wedding which is awesome.
on saturday night, i got together with some people from high school. because i was at the same school for so long, i have a deep love for it and the people that were there with me. i have loved coming home and getting together with people this past year... i think its the fact that we're older and more mature but either way, i love catching up with them! i'm also more thankful that we forget all the crazy, ridiculous things we said while we were in high school. if i had a dollar for every time i said i'd never live in chattanooga, i'd have my rent paid for this month. ha ha, yeah, i'm eating my words but its good because it reminds me how little i knew in high school and how great it is to know what i want now. being at home this weekend allowed me to picture and dream about life there...i sit here now really excited to come back and try it for real this summer. i also realized this weekend that i crave time with my parents...as time has gone on, my time at home is never enough to catch up, relax and get stuff done. when i'm home, i'll get to spend more quality time with them and i'll get to do more things for them that i haven't gotten to do since i've been in college (ie cook dinner for them).
my weekend was relaxing and celebratory...but more than both it was an answer to my prayers. the Lord did hear me when i was freaking out about my future and my life. He knows me better than myself...and He really does know what is best for me even when i don't. i know home won't be a walk in the park, and i realize that i may not stay there long. but i'm moving back and i'm excited about it today and for that i am thankful.i pray now that i'll continue to live in the moment, enjoy every second in athens while also looking forward the future and the things to come!
minus the stye on my eye, i had one of the best weekends in chattanooga. the Lord is good. All the time!
minus the stye on my eye, i had one of the best weekends in chattanooga. the Lord is good. All the time!
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
i love...
so because i'm learning more about myself i'm realizing things i love. here is a list of things that i see today that i love/enjoy:
-men in suits.
-ingrid michaelson's song "the chain"
-flat bill hats.
-old homes
-Chattanooga... i have to add a comment here. i know i talk about chattanooga all the times...probably too much but i really do love it. now that i'm moving back for atleast the summer im getting excited at the thought of being back. i told my dad i'll be taking "chattanooga by storm" but we'll see...and i know the reality that i may not want to stay long but i'm excited to try.
-linen pants.
-having long(er) hair.
thats it for now.
-men in suits.
-ingrid michaelson's song "the chain"
-flat bill hats.
-old homes
-Chattanooga... i have to add a comment here. i know i talk about chattanooga all the times...probably too much but i really do love it. now that i'm moving back for atleast the summer im getting excited at the thought of being back. i told my dad i'll be taking "chattanooga by storm" but we'll see...and i know the reality that i may not want to stay long but i'm excited to try.
-linen pants.
-having long(er) hair.
thats it for now.
Monday, March 29, 2010
procrastination.
right now i should be studying for my big calculus test that is tomorrow. i needed a break, however, from the frustration of the subject...so why not blog? perfect.
i haven't blogged in awhile but its because i haven't made time for it. i had much to blog about but who knows how much i'll remember.
over the last two weeks, i have continued to learn more about myself and more about where the Lord has me right now. my discipleship has been really good and brought many things to my attention. i have known that i'm stubborn and don't like to ask people for help...but that also means that I haven't been asking the Lord for help. once i realized that i can ask the Lord for help, it all made sense...i know, its simple but it has made things much easier for me. i also have been learning more about the Lord's love for me. i tend to put high expectations on myself but thankfully the Lord doesn't have those expectations for me...this whole time that i've been frustrated/mad/disappointed with myself, i have put those things on the Lord too...but its just not true. i'm still having a hard time living out of the truth and freedom of God's love but as i'm learning, these things come with time and not over night (another thing i expect out of myself...it never ends). the Lord has been patient with me though and i am grateful. i am also grateful for his unfailing love...and blessed to be loved unconditionally. i look forward to the day that i live and walk in His love.
last week i danced in offertory at wesley. although i have done this before, last wednesday was much different. see, i choreographed this offertory, so it was my dance. i can't even begin to explain to you my nervousness the entire day. i have never felt so vulnerable before...it was a dance that i put together and taught...and we danced it in front of a good 800 people to watch and judge and critique. so scary. while i know it doesn't matter what they think, it still adds pressure to the night. the whole experience was humbling, though, in that it taught me more about vulnerability. now i can begin to understand what chefs, artists, writers and other dancers feel like when a piece of them is put on the chopping block. it really could be with anything so i'm happy to have had my first major experience in front of the wesley body...the least judgemental group i could start with. this, too, is something i am grateful for. i am, every day, becoming more grateful for my ability to dance. its something i truly love to do. its nerve-racking, hard-work, exhausting, emotional, exhilarating, and tedious all in one. i love that i hate dance sometimes and i love that it gets the best of me sometimes...i love that dance is a constant struggle but i love the days when i love it and it feels like second nature to me. i am thankful that this semester has been full of dance for me. i am thankful for the opportunity to be involved in a christian environment to dance. i am nervous about my big performance coming up and its for many reasons which don't matter. but more than anything i'm excited to be backstage, in the wings, with knots in my stomach, heart bounding, adrenalin pumping ready to dance. even more exciting is that i'll be doing it for the Lord and worshiping Him through my movements.
so...it's almost the end of march. as many of my other posts have mentioned, i'm dreading graduation. and as it approaches my emotions continue to take a roller-coaster ride. even if someone had warned me, i don't think i could have prepared for this semester. today i thought a lot about saying goodbye to everyone and it could have literally torn my heart in pieces if i let it. i still try to get to the bottom of why it is that i hate change so much and why it is that i hate to say goodbye... right now it seems as though many of my friends will stay in athens which is really exciting for them but also makes me sad. while i know i'm not supposed to be in athens next year, it doesn't make the truth easier. there are many things i'll have to transition through over the next 2-3 months...thankfully i know the Lord is with me through every step...sometimes this truth isn't the most comforting though. i thought about my future too much on friday and as i walked into my room, i thought to myself "i could stay in this room indefinitely." the thought occurred to me, what i would want the most is for all 6 of us to stay in this incredible house, each doing our own thing but stay together, live together. the thought of living my life without these wonderful girls could kill me. i know change is good- and its inevitable- but for me its the thing i dread the most. the Lord knows this though and will teach me lots during this time, and i am confident in this. He has my best for me. i thankfully live in this house and have close family and friends that support and encourage me through this season which is one of the biggest gifts and blessings from the Lord.
i just ranted a lot and have calculus calling my name again. the Lord is good. Always.
i haven't blogged in awhile but its because i haven't made time for it. i had much to blog about but who knows how much i'll remember.
over the last two weeks, i have continued to learn more about myself and more about where the Lord has me right now. my discipleship has been really good and brought many things to my attention. i have known that i'm stubborn and don't like to ask people for help...but that also means that I haven't been asking the Lord for help. once i realized that i can ask the Lord for help, it all made sense...i know, its simple but it has made things much easier for me. i also have been learning more about the Lord's love for me. i tend to put high expectations on myself but thankfully the Lord doesn't have those expectations for me...this whole time that i've been frustrated/mad/disappointed with myself, i have put those things on the Lord too...but its just not true. i'm still having a hard time living out of the truth and freedom of God's love but as i'm learning, these things come with time and not over night (another thing i expect out of myself...it never ends). the Lord has been patient with me though and i am grateful. i am also grateful for his unfailing love...and blessed to be loved unconditionally. i look forward to the day that i live and walk in His love.
last week i danced in offertory at wesley. although i have done this before, last wednesday was much different. see, i choreographed this offertory, so it was my dance. i can't even begin to explain to you my nervousness the entire day. i have never felt so vulnerable before...it was a dance that i put together and taught...and we danced it in front of a good 800 people to watch and judge and critique. so scary. while i know it doesn't matter what they think, it still adds pressure to the night. the whole experience was humbling, though, in that it taught me more about vulnerability. now i can begin to understand what chefs, artists, writers and other dancers feel like when a piece of them is put on the chopping block. it really could be with anything so i'm happy to have had my first major experience in front of the wesley body...the least judgemental group i could start with. this, too, is something i am grateful for. i am, every day, becoming more grateful for my ability to dance. its something i truly love to do. its nerve-racking, hard-work, exhausting, emotional, exhilarating, and tedious all in one. i love that i hate dance sometimes and i love that it gets the best of me sometimes...i love that dance is a constant struggle but i love the days when i love it and it feels like second nature to me. i am thankful that this semester has been full of dance for me. i am thankful for the opportunity to be involved in a christian environment to dance. i am nervous about my big performance coming up and its for many reasons which don't matter. but more than anything i'm excited to be backstage, in the wings, with knots in my stomach, heart bounding, adrenalin pumping ready to dance. even more exciting is that i'll be doing it for the Lord and worshiping Him through my movements.
so...it's almost the end of march. as many of my other posts have mentioned, i'm dreading graduation. and as it approaches my emotions continue to take a roller-coaster ride. even if someone had warned me, i don't think i could have prepared for this semester. today i thought a lot about saying goodbye to everyone and it could have literally torn my heart in pieces if i let it. i still try to get to the bottom of why it is that i hate change so much and why it is that i hate to say goodbye... right now it seems as though many of my friends will stay in athens which is really exciting for them but also makes me sad. while i know i'm not supposed to be in athens next year, it doesn't make the truth easier. there are many things i'll have to transition through over the next 2-3 months...thankfully i know the Lord is with me through every step...sometimes this truth isn't the most comforting though. i thought about my future too much on friday and as i walked into my room, i thought to myself "i could stay in this room indefinitely." the thought occurred to me, what i would want the most is for all 6 of us to stay in this incredible house, each doing our own thing but stay together, live together. the thought of living my life without these wonderful girls could kill me. i know change is good- and its inevitable- but for me its the thing i dread the most. the Lord knows this though and will teach me lots during this time, and i am confident in this. He has my best for me. i thankfully live in this house and have close family and friends that support and encourage me through this season which is one of the biggest gifts and blessings from the Lord.
i just ranted a lot and have calculus calling my name again. the Lord is good. Always.
Monday, March 15, 2010
lots of mental pictures
i'm back to the grind. no more breaks until graduation. is that even right? i've said it a bunch but it just can't be right... i just moved into the dorms with 4 full years of college life ahead of me. now i have approximately 7 weeks left (i refuse to do any counting). life goes on though...and so must i...
last week my roommates and i took a nice trip to florida for spring break. i titled this entry "lots of mental pictures" because we literally took zero pictures. we did nothing all week. it was incredible. thankfully we had good weather most of the week...on the two days it rained i didn't leave the house. the grandmother house we rented had a huge HD tv and an incredible recliner... and you ask "why would i leave those two things for the rain?" my thoughts exactly. even though 2 roommates couldn't join us, it was great to spend time with the rest of them. i am incredibly blessed to live with 5 other amazing women. they have taught me so much and i am forever thankful. i love that all 6 of us love ingrid michaelson. we jammed out to her a lot on the drive down and drive back.
march madness started yesterday and it is very exciting. i have filled out two brackets on espn...hopefully one of them will win some money.
as i blog one of my favorite songs started playing on pandora. its green eyes by coldplay. classic.
overall i'm glad to be back in athens getting stuff done. restoration stuff is picking up which is keeping me super busy but its great. i pray that the Lord really uses the performance this year and that lots of people come! it'll be a great show and i'm blessed to be a part of it.
He is good.
last week my roommates and i took a nice trip to florida for spring break. i titled this entry "lots of mental pictures" because we literally took zero pictures. we did nothing all week. it was incredible. thankfully we had good weather most of the week...on the two days it rained i didn't leave the house. the grandmother house we rented had a huge HD tv and an incredible recliner... and you ask "why would i leave those two things for the rain?" my thoughts exactly. even though 2 roommates couldn't join us, it was great to spend time with the rest of them. i am incredibly blessed to live with 5 other amazing women. they have taught me so much and i am forever thankful. i love that all 6 of us love ingrid michaelson. we jammed out to her a lot on the drive down and drive back.
march madness started yesterday and it is very exciting. i have filled out two brackets on espn...hopefully one of them will win some money.
as i blog one of my favorite songs started playing on pandora. its green eyes by coldplay. classic.
overall i'm glad to be back in athens getting stuff done. restoration stuff is picking up which is keeping me super busy but its great. i pray that the Lord really uses the performance this year and that lots of people come! it'll be a great show and i'm blessed to be a part of it.
He is good.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
stand still
i hit a bit of a stand still on the blog. after a few days, however, i have a few things to say...
i am currently in a weird time in my life. so many thoughts and emotions flowing through me its hard to keep up. i dont know what to focus on or keep my mind on... i'm hoping spring break will open things up and allow me to see the now. i pray that the Lord will show me what He wants me to focus on...i'm afraid none of the things i am thinking is what He wants me to be spending my time focusing on...
i love living in the south. the past few days men have gone out of their way to keep or open the door for me. its a small gesture but they make it and it is awesome. sometimes i enjoy being taken care of in the most simple ways. so thank you, southern gentleman, for showing you care.
i have realized this semester that i have an irrational fear of walking into the men's restroom. on my first real date back in 8th grade, i got to the movies before the guy did and because i was so early i hung out around the outside of the movie theater...i was also so nervous that i walked into the men's restroom. i was mortified! i don't know why i think its such a big deal...but those bathrooms in the MLC always mess me up so i end up triple-checking to make sure. anyways, its weird i know, but i figured i would share that random tidbit about myself. enjoy.
isn't it weird that we go through phases at different paces? its great and needed in this world but i currently want new music... this sudden burst of interest comes at totally different increments in my life. its good because while some people are content with their music, others will be re-vamping their library. i've realized this semester, as well, that some of my favorite time spent with God is listening to "secular" music. it speaks to my heart...it comforts it and humbles it in a way words and silence can't. this is another quirk that God gave me at birth. i am thankful for it though... i do, however, need to become more comfortable in silence.
tonight was my last home basketball game. i will be completely honest and tell you it was an emotional few minutes when i realized it was the last one as a student. i sat there remembering where i sat in the stegeman coliseum for the first time...it was in aug 25th (or something) of 2006 and it was a pep rally for football, also known as first friday... also, on monday i had the opportunity to call high school seniors who had just been admitted to UGA. one girl was super sweet...both of her parents had attended uga, she had already sent in her commitment deposit and she was super excited to be in athens in the fall. she asked what year i was and quickly asked "oh, are you excited to graduate?!" i told her that i'd love to be in her shoes again...she didn't seem to really understand but how could she? i know its weird to people, but i hate change and i completely dislike saying goodbye to people. thats what the month of may will look like to me... its good, healthy and inevitable, i know. but it'll be hard. this is truth.
enjoy His love- live it out.
-rebes
i am currently in a weird time in my life. so many thoughts and emotions flowing through me its hard to keep up. i dont know what to focus on or keep my mind on... i'm hoping spring break will open things up and allow me to see the now. i pray that the Lord will show me what He wants me to focus on...i'm afraid none of the things i am thinking is what He wants me to be spending my time focusing on...
i love living in the south. the past few days men have gone out of their way to keep or open the door for me. its a small gesture but they make it and it is awesome. sometimes i enjoy being taken care of in the most simple ways. so thank you, southern gentleman, for showing you care.
i have realized this semester that i have an irrational fear of walking into the men's restroom. on my first real date back in 8th grade, i got to the movies before the guy did and because i was so early i hung out around the outside of the movie theater...i was also so nervous that i walked into the men's restroom. i was mortified! i don't know why i think its such a big deal...but those bathrooms in the MLC always mess me up so i end up triple-checking to make sure. anyways, its weird i know, but i figured i would share that random tidbit about myself. enjoy.
isn't it weird that we go through phases at different paces? its great and needed in this world but i currently want new music... this sudden burst of interest comes at totally different increments in my life. its good because while some people are content with their music, others will be re-vamping their library. i've realized this semester, as well, that some of my favorite time spent with God is listening to "secular" music. it speaks to my heart...it comforts it and humbles it in a way words and silence can't. this is another quirk that God gave me at birth. i am thankful for it though... i do, however, need to become more comfortable in silence.
tonight was my last home basketball game. i will be completely honest and tell you it was an emotional few minutes when i realized it was the last one as a student. i sat there remembering where i sat in the stegeman coliseum for the first time...it was in aug 25th (or something) of 2006 and it was a pep rally for football, also known as first friday... also, on monday i had the opportunity to call high school seniors who had just been admitted to UGA. one girl was super sweet...both of her parents had attended uga, she had already sent in her commitment deposit and she was super excited to be in athens in the fall. she asked what year i was and quickly asked "oh, are you excited to graduate?!" i told her that i'd love to be in her shoes again...she didn't seem to really understand but how could she? i know its weird to people, but i hate change and i completely dislike saying goodbye to people. thats what the month of may will look like to me... its good, healthy and inevitable, i know. but it'll be hard. this is truth.
enjoy His love- live it out.
-rebes
Saturday, February 27, 2010
shut the front door
thank goodness it is friday. i am ready for the weekend to begin. thankfully today was another gorgeous day and not too windy. i started my friday off right by getting chickfila (cfa) for breakfast. as i've mentioned, i gave up sweet tea for lent. i have to admit, my chicken biscuit didn't taste as good without sweet tea, but i managed fine with water.
after work today i ran some errands which i almost always find enjoyable... at target i bought myself The Script cd and am enjoying it thus far. i also had to stop by the at&t store this afternoon because it seems as though my phone has lost all my ringtones. once i told the store what was wrong with my phone, they quickly told me my model phone has come into the store with the same problems. once we found out my warranty had just expired, the salesman tried to push a new phone on me... my phone still works fine but i mentioned to the guy that i want to keep my smart phone and still not pay for internet. the at&t salesman proceeded to tell me that the company is searching through their database and looking for customers with smart phones and no media packages... when they find customers like myself they add the $30 media package with zero notification. i was shocked. then he told me that because i walked into the store and they entered my number into the computer to find the warranty, i may pop up and they may add the media package soon. i guess i'm glad i got a heads up, but i'll have to figure something out if that is what happens. its outrageous. so, just to let you know, if i miss your call it is because i have to keep it on vibrate at all times.
tonight sarah and i went to the gym dog meet and sat with brittany and her friends. i haven't been to a gym dog meet in a long time so it was nice to be back. sarah and i went to the grill downtown and shared fries and a shake. good times in athens. good time to go to sleep and rest up for the rest of the weekend!
remembering His love in all aspects of life,
rebecca rose.
after work today i ran some errands which i almost always find enjoyable... at target i bought myself The Script cd and am enjoying it thus far. i also had to stop by the at&t store this afternoon because it seems as though my phone has lost all my ringtones. once i told the store what was wrong with my phone, they quickly told me my model phone has come into the store with the same problems. once we found out my warranty had just expired, the salesman tried to push a new phone on me... my phone still works fine but i mentioned to the guy that i want to keep my smart phone and still not pay for internet. the at&t salesman proceeded to tell me that the company is searching through their database and looking for customers with smart phones and no media packages... when they find customers like myself they add the $30 media package with zero notification. i was shocked. then he told me that because i walked into the store and they entered my number into the computer to find the warranty, i may pop up and they may add the media package soon. i guess i'm glad i got a heads up, but i'll have to figure something out if that is what happens. its outrageous. so, just to let you know, if i miss your call it is because i have to keep it on vibrate at all times.
tonight sarah and i went to the gym dog meet and sat with brittany and her friends. i haven't been to a gym dog meet in a long time so it was nice to be back. sarah and i went to the grill downtown and shared fries and a shake. good times in athens. good time to go to sleep and rest up for the rest of the weekend!
remembering His love in all aspects of life,
rebecca rose.
Friday, February 26, 2010
love and peace
one of my new favorite things to do now is blog in bed... its nice to unwind this way. also, i'm playing around with the set up of the blog. who knows what it'll end up looking like...
my thursdays are supposed to be my easy days... i only have two classes. then i have discipleship, which is a blessing. and then i usually have a few hours to kill before rehearsal at like 6. one thing i love about college is that the weekend starts on thursday. unless i have a test on friday or an assignment due, i like to mentally shut off at about 8pm on thursdays for the weekend. the past few thursdays have a bit out of the ordinary...and although i haven't enjoyed them as much at the time, they have been really good for me. so tonight there was healing prayer night at wesley. for those who are skeptical, know that the Lord is still healing and wesley has a few nights a semester for people to come and be prayed over. tonight they asked the ArtSpeak ministry leaders, both visual arts and dance, to be a part of healing prayer. to be honest, when debating on going or not all I was concerned about were the Olympics... i mean, it was the figure skating finals... anyways, i went to the healing prayer to dance anyways and am so thankful now. recently my shins have really been bothering me, making dance less enjoyable and not really allowing me to do much running. well this week they have bothered me more again so i figured it wouldn't do any harm to have people pray for my shins to be healed. they prayed for them a few times and there was some improvement but then they started to ask me questions about myself and the spiritual season i am currently in. the past few weeks i have struggled with fully understanding and feeling the Lord's love for me. at wesley a few weeks ago, a director spoke about being a Son of God and not living as a Servant to God. that talk has wrecked me ever since. i realized that night that i do strive for the Lord's love...that i am living the life of a servant and not as a son. so this has been on my mind a lot the past month or so...trying to understand everything. i know that the Lord loves me because God is Love so He's naturally going to love his children. but i have recently seen the striving person in me and i'm learning daily how to accept the Lord's love- knowing that it has absolutely nothing to do with what i do, or what i don't do. anyways, at healing prayer tonight the people praying for me asked me about it...meaning the Lord gave them an idea of what was going on. it was very encouraging and i am very thankful that i went to healing prayer. its funny to me that something that is free and good is so hard for me to accept. i imagine God trying to tell me He loves me or even trying to show it to me, but i can't accept it because all i can think of is what i can be doing better.
i kinda just poured out a bit of my heart to you just now...i hope you were ready for that. sorry if you weren't. i guess i'm just looking forward to the day that i know, understand and Accept His love for me. and for me specifically.
so, while i may have missed the figure skating finals, i am thankful for nbcolympics.com so i can watch the re-cap.
my sister is coming into town tomorrow and i'm really excited to see her and show her around again.
until next time...
enjoy the Lord's love,
RRR
my thursdays are supposed to be my easy days... i only have two classes. then i have discipleship, which is a blessing. and then i usually have a few hours to kill before rehearsal at like 6. one thing i love about college is that the weekend starts on thursday. unless i have a test on friday or an assignment due, i like to mentally shut off at about 8pm on thursdays for the weekend. the past few thursdays have a bit out of the ordinary...and although i haven't enjoyed them as much at the time, they have been really good for me. so tonight there was healing prayer night at wesley. for those who are skeptical, know that the Lord is still healing and wesley has a few nights a semester for people to come and be prayed over. tonight they asked the ArtSpeak ministry leaders, both visual arts and dance, to be a part of healing prayer. to be honest, when debating on going or not all I was concerned about were the Olympics... i mean, it was the figure skating finals... anyways, i went to the healing prayer to dance anyways and am so thankful now. recently my shins have really been bothering me, making dance less enjoyable and not really allowing me to do much running. well this week they have bothered me more again so i figured it wouldn't do any harm to have people pray for my shins to be healed. they prayed for them a few times and there was some improvement but then they started to ask me questions about myself and the spiritual season i am currently in. the past few weeks i have struggled with fully understanding and feeling the Lord's love for me. at wesley a few weeks ago, a director spoke about being a Son of God and not living as a Servant to God. that talk has wrecked me ever since. i realized that night that i do strive for the Lord's love...that i am living the life of a servant and not as a son. so this has been on my mind a lot the past month or so...trying to understand everything. i know that the Lord loves me because God is Love so He's naturally going to love his children. but i have recently seen the striving person in me and i'm learning daily how to accept the Lord's love- knowing that it has absolutely nothing to do with what i do, or what i don't do. anyways, at healing prayer tonight the people praying for me asked me about it...meaning the Lord gave them an idea of what was going on. it was very encouraging and i am very thankful that i went to healing prayer. its funny to me that something that is free and good is so hard for me to accept. i imagine God trying to tell me He loves me or even trying to show it to me, but i can't accept it because all i can think of is what i can be doing better.
i kinda just poured out a bit of my heart to you just now...i hope you were ready for that. sorry if you weren't. i guess i'm just looking forward to the day that i know, understand and Accept His love for me. and for me specifically.
so, while i may have missed the figure skating finals, i am thankful for nbcolympics.com so i can watch the re-cap.
my sister is coming into town tomorrow and i'm really excited to see her and show her around again.
until next time...
enjoy the Lord's love,
RRR
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
i am who i am
so recently the Lord has been showing me who i am and how he created me to be. which has been great for many reasons but its great now when i'm looking for jobs and trying to find out what i should do after may 8th. today was another informative day. terry college of business has alumni lunch panels and today was themed "business in health care." my dad really thinks i should be looking into health care but i'm also interested in it so i thought it would be perfect to go. well sarah and i got there, checked-in and received our free chick-fil-a lunch (yes, free, it was delicious). once the meeting started i got really excited. then i started to remember how much i've always loved board meetings. i'm sure you're wondering how thats possible, but as a little girl i would sometimes get to go to my mom's board meetings and i always loved them. sometimes i would bring a pen and paper to take notes so i was a part of everything. my mom is also a member of kiwanis and i have always loved going to that. i thought as a young girl that i'll be involved in something like it. i know, its kinda dorky but i love it. i'm grateful to be in the terry college of business and i look forward to being a terry alum and maybe even coming back and speaking at a panel session. who knows. but what i do know for sure is that the Lord created me specifically and although i don't always fit the terry college mold, i have a business mind and i enjoy business meetings. even though i know these things now, i still have no idea what to do in may. as some may know, i want to move to nashville. if you're asking why, i dont really have an answer. i just want to try it...but i gotta get a job first. so we shall see if the Lord really wants me there.
in other wednesday news, i had my first coffee today that i have had in months. i actually had half of a vanilla latte but still, it has coffee, and caffeine which was the whole reason that i bought it. since i gave sweet tea up for lent, i haven't had any caffeine all week. it really hit me today so i decided to give my body some extra energy. but life without sweet tea is not as bad as i thought it would be and i am thankful. it is somehow making my eating habits better as well, which is always good. i want to be in a habit of eating well. saturday, after my long run, i walked to earth fare down the street. not only was it a gorgeous day after a run, but i got to Walk to an organic grocery store, with my reusable bags in hand. i felt incredibly healthy and enjoyed every second of it. i hope that when i move i can walk to the grocery store...doubtful but i'm hopeful.
it seems that i am on a bit of a blog kick so i hope you're enjoying these updates. blogging is still slightly weird to me because its like i'm assuming people will read and be interested... either way i think i'll keep this up for the rest of the semester...that was my whole intent of the blog. also, i probably won't capitalize my blogs unless i'm emphasizing something, just fyi. :)
happy wednesday-now thursday.
"the Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in him and I am helped. my heart leaps for joy and i will give thanks to him in song"- Psalm 28:7
i'm still working on that sign off but enjoy the verse instead...
Rebes.
in other wednesday news, i had my first coffee today that i have had in months. i actually had half of a vanilla latte but still, it has coffee, and caffeine which was the whole reason that i bought it. since i gave sweet tea up for lent, i haven't had any caffeine all week. it really hit me today so i decided to give my body some extra energy. but life without sweet tea is not as bad as i thought it would be and i am thankful. it is somehow making my eating habits better as well, which is always good. i want to be in a habit of eating well. saturday, after my long run, i walked to earth fare down the street. not only was it a gorgeous day after a run, but i got to Walk to an organic grocery store, with my reusable bags in hand. i felt incredibly healthy and enjoyed every second of it. i hope that when i move i can walk to the grocery store...doubtful but i'm hopeful.
it seems that i am on a bit of a blog kick so i hope you're enjoying these updates. blogging is still slightly weird to me because its like i'm assuming people will read and be interested... either way i think i'll keep this up for the rest of the semester...that was my whole intent of the blog. also, i probably won't capitalize my blogs unless i'm emphasizing something, just fyi. :)
happy wednesday-now thursday.
"the Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in him and I am helped. my heart leaps for joy and i will give thanks to him in song"- Psalm 28:7
i'm still working on that sign off but enjoy the verse instead...
Rebes.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
the small joys in life
one year ago i was starting my life in verona, italy. is it even possible that a year has gone by already? thankfully i got to see most of my italy friends last week and it was wonderful catching up and reminiscing on verona and europe. going on this trip was, hands down, one of the best decisions i have ever made. i hope the vivid memories that still run through my mind stick forever... but i also hope that i'll soon return to verona and europe to make more memories and see more incredible things...
its Olympic time, if you didn't know already... as it may be a surprise to some, but not to many, i have gotten really into the spirit of it this year. i love watching the winter games but i also love hearing about the athletes and their stories. its incredible that these people prepare their entire lives, practically, for one (sometimes more than one) chance at a medal. it makes me wonder if i have that kind of dedication in me... but, i'm pretty sure if there was a medal for ballet, and i was one of the best, i'd work my butt of for a chance at it. i really got into the ice dancing last night...i didn't like it at first, but once i watched the canadian pair, tessa and scott, i was hooked. their performance was incredible and they definitely deserved the gold. its good to have bob costas back on screen giving us the important information from the games too. and as the games are coming to an end, i am looking forward to the women's figure skating finals on thursday night. the korean skater is the favorite, so im interested to see her free skate...
in other news, i recently found out that vanderbilt did not hire me for the assistant football coach position. yes, i did apply for the job, since you're wondering. i would like to just say that i felt semi-qualified and felt that i could only help the team and school. obviously i would have kept my loyalty to georgia but i want to get some experience in the SEC so i can coach for georgia one day.
well since ron burgundy said "stay classy" first, i must come up with my own sign off...
...this has now been added to my To Do list...
much love my dear friends,
your friend who wants a gold medal.
its Olympic time, if you didn't know already... as it may be a surprise to some, but not to many, i have gotten really into the spirit of it this year. i love watching the winter games but i also love hearing about the athletes and their stories. its incredible that these people prepare their entire lives, practically, for one (sometimes more than one) chance at a medal. it makes me wonder if i have that kind of dedication in me... but, i'm pretty sure if there was a medal for ballet, and i was one of the best, i'd work my butt of for a chance at it. i really got into the ice dancing last night...i didn't like it at first, but once i watched the canadian pair, tessa and scott, i was hooked. their performance was incredible and they definitely deserved the gold. its good to have bob costas back on screen giving us the important information from the games too. and as the games are coming to an end, i am looking forward to the women's figure skating finals on thursday night. the korean skater is the favorite, so im interested to see her free skate...
in other news, i recently found out that vanderbilt did not hire me for the assistant football coach position. yes, i did apply for the job, since you're wondering. i would like to just say that i felt semi-qualified and felt that i could only help the team and school. obviously i would have kept my loyalty to georgia but i want to get some experience in the SEC so i can coach for georgia one day.
well since ron burgundy said "stay classy" first, i must come up with my own sign off...
...this has now been added to my To Do list...
much love my dear friends,
your friend who wants a gold medal.
Monday, February 22, 2010
grateful
yes, i know. its been so long since i've last posted something. my bad. i don't really feel like there has been much to post about but really i haven't made time for it...
so, i just received an email about my terry college graduation. it was another moment of reality slapping me in the face. here i am writing down important dates in my planner and forwarding those dates to family because i'm only 2+months from graduating college. how is this even possible? how have four years flown by this quickly? the Lord has been teaching me a lot about His love and about trusting him. perfect timing, right? honestly, i have a hard time understanding His unconditional love...that no matter how hard i try to find a job, He has one for me regardless. the past few weeks have been humbling and eye opening. i'm learning more of who i am and what i like. and recently i have come to realize that i, rebecca, am an oxymoron. you may think thats weird, but its completely true and i'm so comfortable with that reality. i love many things and they kinda contradict one another, but its who i am, who i was made to be. i am extremely thankful for who the Lord has created me to be. He created me to be unique and knew that i would love being unique. its comforting to know that God knows me better than myself...which means he knows where i'll be after may 8th, even if i don't.
i'm a big planner and all i want to do is plan the next step of my life. but, i also want to enjoy where i am right now and i am also very grateful to be in this exact position. if i think too hard about the reality of leaving athens, i am immediately sad. but if i think too far into the future, i'm immediately overcome with fear. both of these are because the Lord wants me to live in the Now. He wants me to enjoy the people around me, the fellowship, the last moments of college, and He wants me to enjoy learning about myself and who He created me to be. i am excited to be here and i'm excited to start something new...oh, whats that? another oxymoron. its where i'm comfortable- so i'm thankful to be here.
until next time, stay classy y'all
-your oxymoron friend.
so, i just received an email about my terry college graduation. it was another moment of reality slapping me in the face. here i am writing down important dates in my planner and forwarding those dates to family because i'm only 2+months from graduating college. how is this even possible? how have four years flown by this quickly? the Lord has been teaching me a lot about His love and about trusting him. perfect timing, right? honestly, i have a hard time understanding His unconditional love...that no matter how hard i try to find a job, He has one for me regardless. the past few weeks have been humbling and eye opening. i'm learning more of who i am and what i like. and recently i have come to realize that i, rebecca, am an oxymoron. you may think thats weird, but its completely true and i'm so comfortable with that reality. i love many things and they kinda contradict one another, but its who i am, who i was made to be. i am extremely thankful for who the Lord has created me to be. He created me to be unique and knew that i would love being unique. its comforting to know that God knows me better than myself...which means he knows where i'll be after may 8th, even if i don't.
i'm a big planner and all i want to do is plan the next step of my life. but, i also want to enjoy where i am right now and i am also very grateful to be in this exact position. if i think too hard about the reality of leaving athens, i am immediately sad. but if i think too far into the future, i'm immediately overcome with fear. both of these are because the Lord wants me to live in the Now. He wants me to enjoy the people around me, the fellowship, the last moments of college, and He wants me to enjoy learning about myself and who He created me to be. i am excited to be here and i'm excited to start something new...oh, whats that? another oxymoron. its where i'm comfortable- so i'm thankful to be here.
until next time, stay classy y'all
-your oxymoron friend.
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